Monday, January 14, 2008

Mail call

McKeon's mailbag, January 14:

I believe the problem has to do with economics. The Leafs sell out every home game, get a ton of money from sales of anything with their logo, have millions from television revenue and no doubt get some generous tax breaks from the government. No wonder they are worth upwards of $400 million. What incentive can there be for management to make them a winner?

Jim Cashman
Chicago



Ownership feels pressure to produce a winner because a) they're huge Maple Leaf fans themselves; b) they're used to achieving success or they wouldn't have risen to that status; and c) they want to be liked and not hated around Toronto.

a) Really? You really think that? The Leafs are owned by Maple Leafs Sports & Entertainment LLD (MLSE), who also own Toronto's NBA team, AHL affiliate, and MLS team. Are they fans of all those teams, too? Every single person in any power position in MLSE is a Leafs fan? And you can't possibly be talking about GM John Ferguson, who is from Montreal. Head coach is from Quebuc, I guess... but that's definitely not ownership. So... you sure about that one?

b) The Leafs' last Cup was in 1966-1967. The last Division Championship was 99-00, but before that they were division-less since the 30s. And they haven't won anything since. They haven't made the playoffs post-lockout. So... how are any guys anywhere near this team right now, 'Used to success?'

c) Call me nitpick-y, but I'm disinclined to think the people profiting from this give too much about what the Leafs fans think about them personally.

Do you actually think the Leafs are the Yankees of hockey? Try the Montreal Canadiens, they are the only thing close.

Dale Parks
Trenton, Ontario

We'll give you that one in terms of titles won: Canadiens champs 24 times, Yankees with 26 and Leafs with 13 Cups. But Toronto has more of a countrywide following in Canada than Montreal.


We? Who is, 'We?' It takes multiple people to put together three completely inaccurate sentences? At that... it's actually pretty crazy the Habs are anywhere close to the Yankees in terms of titles won, considering the Yankees had a 16-year head start. This is ignoring the sheer stupidity of trying to denote any team, 'The Yankees of Sport X.' And, as far as 'more of a countrywide following' is concerned... just because ESPN loves a team doesn't make them the most popular. I'm disinclined to research this, but I wonder who the Leafs of baseball are... which baseball team actually has the most fans nationwide (or if the Leafs actually have the biggest Canadian following).

Ehh. Mildly satisfying.

Postives.

Exactly.

The average career of an NHL player, as per my research, is about 7 years (and the average career of a goalie is even shorter, for the record).

I understand wanting to 'lock up' key players. That you're starting each season for the next 13 years down $10 million in cap-dollars is your prerogative. But the most WTF-y thing, in my opinion, is that odds are Ovechkin won't even be playing that long. And hell, even if he is, he'll have long since reached his peak and started declining by the time that contract is up.

This isn't as ludicrous as paying a goalie (who has already shown a tendency toward injuries) a 15-year contract when the most games any goalie has ever appeared in ever is 1029, the equivalent of 12.5 seasons. Betting DeePee will play the most games a goalie has ever played ever, ever is crazier than betting Ovechkin will get halfway to Gordie Howe's 26 seasons, but is still kind of... well, stupid.

Though, in Washington's defense, that last uber-long-term-expensive contract they signed worked out really well.

Her voice is fucking *juiced*

Hollywood are all attention whores, but this is kind of very ridiculous.

Friday, January 11, 2008

About last night:

Renney is going to get himself fired. That's all there is to it.

I think MSG should pay me for showing up to that game. I'll be generous and give back 1/3 of the money, because that's the only amount of a hockey game the Rangers know how to play.

/bitter

...this isn't a Rangers blog. More McKeon eventually.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Thoughts.

I wonder when the last time an entire division made the playoffs was. If the Rangers decide to stop sucking, it's possible for the Atlantic.

My fault?

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but...

Yet at the individual market level, despite the salary cap, the flight of stars -- or the fear of their flight -- from one team to another is a trend with wide-reaching ramifications.

So... "stars," presumably good players, leaving for other teams and teams worrying about not being able to hold on to their good players... is a new trend with implicitly negative consequences?

The article kind of implies this has never happened before. Which is ludicrous. Teams have worried about this for a long, long time. Since the dawn of free agency, if I'm not mistaken.

The most recent was Monday's deal in Dallas with Mike Ribeiro. At 27 he was eligible for free agency on July 1. The Stars made sure that he never hit the market, giving him $25 million over five seasons. That is a doubling of his current salary and continues a trend of teams extending deals to their core players that are both inflationary and long-term. Players are finding out that they don't have to sacrifice dollars to get length. The mere specter of impending free agency is enough to have guys cashing in.

Well, yes. And...?

Instead of having their young future stars become restricted free agents -- and be susceptible to offer sheets from other clubs -- teams are acting hastily.

Again: something that has definitely never happened before.

Wouldn't it have been worse before? When one team-- infamously, the Rangers-- could gobble up all the big-name talent from other teams? I mean, no matter how disproportionate the amount of money players are signed for, you can only sign so many players. Whether you want to spend your big contract on Sidney Crosby for 27 years or Mike Richards for 5 years or Chris Drury for 9,329 years is your prerogative.

No one is giving the law of supply and demand a chance to take effect. If the teams allowed the pool of restricted free agents to swell, the demand would wane. But, by depleting that pool before July 1, demand will increase for those not inked to these high water salaries.

This is the part that most confuses me. It seems like faulty logic. Hell, now that I reread it over and over, it *is* faulty logic.

So say we have 10 pending big-name free agents, and 15 teams. Five individual teams re-sign five individual free agents before those contracts expire, so now there are 5 players and 10 teams come the off-season. The demand still outweighs the supply.

What is being suggested is that we take the 10 FA's and 15 teams, and allow contracts to run out, which... gives us the exact same situation. 5 teams post-facto resign their five players, and the same thing ultimately happens. In fact, this might even result in more inflated contracts because there's the possibility of bidding wars for a player.

It also doesn't take into account that the teams that sign the five players are kind of sitting back now; once you sign a Sidney Crosby, you're not really stalking a Jaromir Jagr mercilessly. I mean, it'd be nice to have, of course, but you won't be devastated and throwing the remainder of your money at him. My point here is: when teams re-sign 'stars' during the regular season, they simultaneously fall out of the major running for them in the off-season. It's not like Team H is going to re-sign their three or four big-name players and then go looking for 5 more. They sit back during the off-season and get maybe one or two more mid-high class guys and then some fillers.

Hockey players aren't beanie babies that can just be steadily manufactured, which is why this doesn't work (though I'm sure the supply-and-demand name-drop made Eliot feel very smart). It doesn't matter the order in which you hand players out to teams; there aren't magically going to be more star players if you do it a different way.

This is particularly true in the Southeast Division, where the Capitals have Alex Ovechkin becoming a restricted free agent at the end of the season. Given what has transpired with Richards and Getzlaf, what is Ovechkin to expect? He reportedly dismissed an offer prior to the holiday season that was in the $7.5 million range to span the next five seasons. What is his incentive to sign before July 1 if the Capitals don't ante up? Someone this summer will certainly float an offer sheet Ovechkin's way, and $10 million was a number reached last summer during the Oilers' pursuit of Thomas Vanek of the Sabres.

Again... teams are more or less in the same boat as each other. If GM X can figure out how to afford a 10m/yr for 5,346,446 yrs contract and build a good team around that player and GM Y can't... well, good for GM X. Again, the difference is that one team can't keep making these huge offers. Like that, the talent spreads.

I don't think the NHL had this version of "spread the wealth" in mind when the CBA was ratified.

The version where one team couldn't sign all the players? Actually, I think that is kind of what they had in mind.


...

If this isn't what Eliot was trying to say, he needs to address the writing skills/convolution problem ASAP. But I've read this a few times now, and can't seem to come up with another way of interpreting it. What's the point here? Is it that stupid?

ESPN

Usually, ESPN pretends hockey doesn't really exist. I was once watching PTI (unfortunately), and when one of the journalists dare call playoff hockey, "exciting," he lost points.

So, ESPN hates hockey. Yay. ESPN (or its most notable employees, anyway) also hates the interwebz. Yay? Combination of the two? *headdesk*

ESPN's 'Featured Comment (RE: NHL All-Star Voting Results):'

It's not about the best players anymore. The whole fan balloting thing needs to be removed." -- Gothica639


No kidding. Because you know, in other sports it's definitely about the best players statistically and not at all a popularity contest.

There was a great quote somewhere that I should have copy-and-pasted over here when I read it, and I can't find it now. It's wasn't from Yahoo!Sports, because their only hockey writer is McKeon. I don't read ESPN generally and can't find it on CNNSI. I suspect-- suspect-- it was a Hockey Closer article over at Deadspin, but can't find it there either and can't be sure. Who knows, maybe it was in an actual newspaper.

Anyway, it was one of those requisite 'mid-season award' articles, and my New York Rangers-fan-brain kind of scanned down to the Vezina part, because Lundqvist is generally the only player we have that doesn't suck.

Anyway, the writer awarded it reasonably to Pascal LeClaire, citing Luongo, Osgood and Lundqvist as others who would (paraphrasing), "be in their seats clapping when Brodeur wins the award."

Anyway, the point of that long, drawn-out anecdote that annihilated any kind of tone I had is: the people voting on this are either incapable, unwilling, or just plain biased. Voting for anything in any sport is a popularity contest. That is why this stuff is worth nothing. The end.


Maybe it was on purpose ESPN picked the most boring, inane, obvious comment they could. Maybe it was like, "Well, if we have to, stuff you, NHL." Or maybe ESPN is stupid. Either way.

Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year?

Bored. Writing forums are down. Might as well write bad jokes in a kind of snarky way.

McKeon doles out "should-be" New Year's Resolutions.

Not sarcasm: I am thrilled that he punctuated "New Year's" correctly.

Gary Bettman: I resolve to get on my soap box and … well … stand six inches taller.

I had no idea what this meant, but thought it might be because I was unclear about the definition of 'getting on one's soap box.' Wikipedia says:

"The term is also used metaphorically to describe a person engaging in often flamboyant impromptu or unofficial public speaking, as in the phrases "He's on his soapbox", or "Get off of your soapbox.""

So, Bettman needs to give an impromptu, semi-preachy, public speech? And... presumably, the result of this is that he'll literally be taller (I could almost see "being taller" in the metaphoric sense if there was anything in the sentence that implied this in the least).

Brian Burke: I resolve to never speak to Kevin Lowe again. Oh, wait, I already said that last summer.

I went to look up Brian Burke (for some reference RE: speaking to Kevin Lowe) and found this, which greatly amused me.

The feeble attempt at sarcasm aside, I'm not sure this makes sense (and somehow, this still surprises me). I mean, as far as I know, there hasn't really been a public scuffle between the two since the whole Penner shebang. Why rehash and make fun of something that happened months ago? Not to mention that, apparently, Burke has a kind of reputation for "wearing his heart on his sleeve." Wouldn't both of them just want to get over themselves and move on, speaking to each other when it befitted their respective teams, if need be?

Kevin Lowe: I resolve to remind Brian Burke that without Chris Pronger, the Ducks don't win the Cup.

Not even getting into the validity of Pronger's impact on the Ducks (which isn't at all to imply it was huge or small)... the rationale here is, "I traded you a player three years ago (and got some pretty damn good picks in return, plus prospects), so you're not allowed to be annoyed when I do something questionable." Makes sense to me!

Roberto Luongo: I resolve to shrink my pads.

Roberto Luongo: I resolve allow more goals for... someone's benefit? Ross McKeon's amusement?

Martin St. Louis: I resolve to not get lost in Roberto Luongo's pads.

O_________o

...that's what she said.

Sorry.

Wayne Gretzky: I resolve to throw on a pair of those thermo skates and give this game one more whirl.

At the ripe age of 47!

Seriously...

Seriously? You'd really put your eggs in that basket? If you say so, Ross.

Thornton: I resolve to shoot the puck even more than I'm already shooting it this season.

That he's on pace for more goals than he's had in any season (save 05-06) since 02-03 is immaterial, I guess. Thornton should adjust his game.

Don Waddell: I resolve to hire a coach.

Dean Lombardi: Ditto. Oops! I've already got one, I just forgot


Is this a shot at Lombardi for being crappy, at the coach for being crappy, or both? And really... this is the best you can come up with?

Sean Avery: I resolve to win the Lady Byng Trophy before my career is over.

Why the hell would he do that? Avery is, at his core, a decent player; He's good for maybe 10-20 goals and 20-40 points. But the whole point of a Sean Avery, or a Donald Brashear, or a non-crazy Chris Simon is that the drive people insane. Avery would not be the same player without this. The Rangers are very obviously not the same team without this. Why, barring serious head trauma or something, would he change?

Daniel Briere: I resolve to stop looking younger than Patrick Kane – even though I'm 12 years older.

This definitely completely relates to hockey.

Sidney Crosby: I resolve to stop making it look so damn easy.

Sidney Crosby: I resolve to play worse. Look out, Luongo!

Evgeni Malkin: I resolve to emerge from that big shadow No. 87 casts.

Maybe (likely) this is just the view of someone who sees the Penguin play a lot because of the interdivision-ness, but I know very well that Malkin is a dangerous player. Malkin scares me. Having Crosby on the same team doesn't really detract from my knowing Malkin is a good young player. *shrug*

Chris Chelios: I resolve to play longer than Gordie Howe, yet shorter than it probably took to get some of the lines in this column.

Well, in the end, at least he admits it was piece fueled by desperation.

Ehh. That was boring. Not worth it.

MSG'd!

I love Sam Nosen, and Joe Micheletti. And John Giannone is a great intermission-interview type of guy. But he's not very good at calling games. Really, on television, his problem is he talks too much. And when he talks too much, he says stuff like:

"And at the end of 1, the Rangers are up 1-0."

When, although it was in fact the end of the first period, the Rangers were up 2-1.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

FOXSports rounds

This paragraph is from here, but aside from the usual whining about the 'new' NHL sucking when it really doesn't the article is fine. It's how this is being presented that annoys me.

It was not a hit to the head. It was not an illegal hit, either, despite the illegitimate decision by the four-man officiating crew that originally made no call, but upon seeing Cullen flat on the ice and briefly unconscious, then took the cowardly way out and gave Orr a five-minute major for interference after a lengthy caucus.

The first thing is that there wasn't even a hit, as is obvious here. Orr ran into Cullen as he crossed the ice. Whether or not he initially intended to even make contact with Cullen is kind of up in the air.

This wasn't a question of violence in the NHL. Hockey is a very physical game. Accidents will happen.

The issue that everyone seems to be glossing over is what the refs did. The ref invented a penalty. There is no such thing as a 5-minute major for interference. None. I don't know how a hockey journalist could type those four words in a row and not have a problem with them.

Furthermore, Cullen had the puck. Cullen had the puck. There cannot be an 'interference' call when a player carrying the puck is hit. He's not being 'interfered' with (as it applies to hockey, anyway). In fact, good ol' Wikipedia defines interference as:

Impeding an opponent who does not have the puck, or impeding any player from the bench.

Why is no one writing about this in droves? Probably for the same reason the cowardly ref made the call in the first place. It's hardly as sexy or in-vogue, and kind of qualifies as hockey 'dirty laundry.'

--------

This article by one Hockey Rodent was inane and convoluted. I generally dislike HR; I find s/h/it to be holier-than-thou and fanboi!!!1one at the same time. It bothers me that his mantra of communication seems to be, "Use as many big words as possible so as to confuse the reader itno agreement!" It's a writer's job to be clear, not the reader's to wade through the writer's muck. And he's so blatant.

But I rant.

Anyway, he spend the beginning of the article bashing Sather, which makes him sound like a whiny brat. Por ejemple:

Of significance to this column was the jettisoning of Leetch, a legacy Ranger and fan legend. Apparently, Sather's purges know no boundaries.

I love Leetch. I do. I will go to Brian Leetch Night and scream my head off, and will always appreciate him. But an aging, deteriorating veteran just isn't something that will help the team. Considering what happened to Leetch post-facto, Sather actually made a pretty damn good decision.

Then, we get about three small paragraphs of meat:

Don't forget Jagr's proclamation that New York was the place he'd always wanted to be. He pledged to finish his North American career in Madison Square Garden, saying that if he were traded before his deal expired he'd protest the transaction by retiring. We'll come back to this oath shortly.

THE CZECH PHASE

Ultimately, Holik's contract was bought out when the work stoppage ended. Carrying his hefty paper was impractical under a salary cap of $39 million. Still, the next incarnation of Blueshirts featured no fewer than seven Czechs, including Martin Straka, Marek Malik, Michal Roszival, Petr Prucha, a repatriated Martin Rucinsky and Petr Sykora, who joined the club mid-season from Anaheim. Clearly, the supporting cast was a signal to all that Jagr would finish his NHL career on Broadway and that the organization was prepared to provide him with whatever it took to make his tenure as comfortable as money could permit.



The thing that bothers me about this is that it completely neglects the fact that Jagr, for all his best-European-ever awesomeness, has always been a headcase. It almost seems to imply that Jagr (nay, Sather!) is trying to ruin the Rangers organization.

The fact of the matter is, when you play a Jaromir Jagr, you may or may not get the one you want. When he's on, he's ridiculously dominant. When he's moping, he's abysmal. Making Jagr happy results in record-setting reasons and a crapload of awards. A mopey Jagr... well, that's what the Rangers have now. He'll swing back and be awesome again in due time. The Rangers aren't going to trade their captain mid-season, especially when their captain can very obviously still be awesome and the Rangers are still very much in the mix.

Jagr's frustration this fall is no secret. His struggles are due to two major influences including Straka, his favorite flanker, who went several weeks on IR with a broken hand, and the failure of pivots Scott Gomez, Chris Drury and rookie Brandon Dubinsky to achieve the chemistry formerly provided by Nylander.


Rodent has always had a kind of inverse man-crush on Scott Gomez, by which I mean he seems to hate him. He wrote articles during the off-season on how Gomez was overpriced and overrated and just generally whined about his horribleness.

But right now, Gomez is the best player on the Rangers, especially consistently. He leads them in points (35) and is on pace for about 20 goals, 50 assists, and a 70-point season. That's Gomez. During a really awesome year, he might have around 30 goals. A down year, like last with the Devils, might produce 10. He will always have more assists than goals. This is what we expected. This is what the Rangers signed up for.

Drury has been underwhelming thus far, but this is the first-year of a 7-year contract. To imply him a failure is kind of ridiculous.

And Dubinsky is a rookie who looks pretty good.

What were we talking about again?

What did catch my attention was the backchannel feedback associated with Sather's purportedly sounding out the team captain on such a change of venue. Jagr nixed the Red Wings according to this tale, but said he would consider moving to another club as long as it was in the Eastern Conference and was a team with a good situation.

This was too detailed to go unvetted. So I did some digging and heard two additional variations of the same thing, though neither involving Hockey Town.



My spellcheck is telling me "unvetted" isn't a word. This amuses me to no end.

I'm not sure the big deal. Jagr would be willing to go to another team! Gasp! I like my house, but that doesn't mean I've never considered going to a different house. And my family doesn't hate me when I consider such a thing. They just wait til I get over it.


I asked my sources if this meant Jagr wanted out of New York. One told me it depends upon his mood on any given day or moment. He sometimes feels unappreciated by management, scapegoated by Manhattan media, and alienated by the local fans.



Yes. Because Jagr is a headcase. A very talented headcase that they won't trade.

The Rangers remain in the playoff hunt. And as long as Lundqvist stays healthy, it's doubtful Slats will be motivated to move Jagr because he fills seats even when he's not filling twine. But if the club continues to struggle through the All-Star break, the previously unthinkable might happen.

Just ask Brian Leetch.



And here the sheer stupidity comes to fruition. Yes, Jagr is on the downside of his career. But the guy had 96 points last year, and 123 the year before that. Would you get rid of that guy?

Some Leetch Stats:

(34 yrs old) 2000-01 NYR 82 games played 21 goals 58 assists 79 points
(35 yrs old) 2001-02 NYR 82 10 45 55
(36 yrs old) 2002-03 NYR 51 12 18 30
(37 yrs old) 2003-04 NYR 57 13 23 36
(37 yrs old) 2003-04 TOR 15 2 13 15
(39 yrs old) 2005-06 BOS 61 5 27 32

That's a little messy, I know. Some points:

1. Jagr is 35. When traded, Leetch was 37. He was 39 his last year. Do you really want that player? Jagr's no spring chicken, but there is a significant difference between 35/36 and 37/38.

2. The thing that jumped out at me was how many games he played. There was a pretty big falloff (31 less games in 02-03 vs. years before), and management probably noticed this.

3. Corresponding with this is how his production fell off. His total points went 79-55-30, and he was obviously in a position to be injured. Again, Jagr scored 96 points last year. This is not a number to scoff at. He is a lunatic. There is no reason to think he'll suddenly just stop functioning.

Bottom line: the Leetch trade was defensible, if not a very good decision (ultimately). A Jagr trade? Less so. And blathering sentimental non-hockey nonsense does not sway me.

-----

This is from here, but again, it's not the content of the article I take issue with.

Both papers agreed young Rangers winger Petr Prucha and veteran Jackets forward David Vyborny might form part of a potential swap.

Prucha is a small but energetic youngster with both potential and an affordable salary while Vyborny might mesh well with struggling Rangers star and fellow Czech Jaromir Jagr.



Why is Prucha producing less? Two words: Power play. He spent the last two years on the top PP unit with Jagr. Then he was taken off, and his production dwindled. He was put back on last night, and scored twice. Kind of wondering why no one sees this connection.

Whew. Lots of Rangers, lots of stupid. Lots of awesome.

Inanity

In the spirit of the season, here's the gift each team hopes to unwrap this holiday: (power rankings are updated every Tuesday).

Imagine opening a Christmas gift, and inside... power rankings! Yay! Yay...?

1. Detroit Red Wings (26-7-3, Previous: 1) – A lump of coal in the bottom of their stocking because with all the deserved good fortune they've experienced to date, the only thing they don't have is a practical joke.

That this makes no sense aside (they're awesome, so they get the worst gift imagineable? They get the Non Gift?), the last little clause bewilders me. Does he literally mean they don't have a practical joke (IE, whoopie cushion), or does he mean that he can't think of a joke that's practical? It certainly seems like the latter, I guess.

2. Ottawa Senators (23-8-4, Previous: 2) – The lasting memory of how disappointing it is to be on the losing side of a Stanley Cup Final to serve as motivation the rest of the way.

Ah, good, they needed that. Without this gift, they might have forgotten.

The thing that is most WTF-y about this is that it's not like Ottawa was a black horse team that miraculously went all the way and will never forget. Dating back to 2000 (and probably before then, but I'm too lazy to research that far), Ottawa has been a freaking dominant team that's gained a reputation for choking when it matters. They actually have this very intersting pattern of loss going:

00-01: Lost in 1/4Finals
01-02: Lost in 1/2Finals
02-03: Lost in Finals
03-04: Lost in 1/4Finals
05-06: Lost in 1/2Finals
06-07: Lost in Finals

I'm kind of hoping they lose in the quaters again this year, honestly.

Anyway, point is, it's not like they haven't been in this situation before and realized it sucked. It was a weird thing to bring up in a way that implied it was some kind of new territory for them.

5. Colorado Avalanche (21-13-2, Previous: 8) – That Joe Sakic gets a warm send off the last time he plays in visiting rinks just in case it's his final season.

This doesn't help the team at all (and is very inane), but it's a nice sentiment, I guess.

7. Minnesota Wild (20-13-2, Previous: 10) – Take notice: When their top offensive threats are healthy, this isn't just a defense-first hockey team anymore.

They don't deserve a gift, I guess.

9. Buffalo Sabres (19-14-1, Previous: 15) – The courage to stick to that run-'n-gun style of hockey because it sure is fun to watch.

Phew, what a relief. I was truly concerned about the Sabres totally chaning their style of play that has more or less been working for them, but now I can rest easy.

10. Anaheim Ducks (18-15-5, Previous: 17) – Expecting Teemu Selanne to return is probably asking for too much, but playing with more discipline the second half isn't.

Wait... are you giving them gifts, or expecting the teams to give you gifts? Oh, Ross.

11. San Jose Sharks (18-12-5, Previous: 3) – Answers to the questions about why they can't live up to expectations.

Just vague enough to work!

12. Montreal Canadiens (17-13-6, Previous: 6) – Enough with the Saku Koivu rumors. This guy deserves way better.

They don't get a gift either. Go sit in a corner with the Wild.

The real question, though, is which is worse: Being given no gift by Ross McKeon, or being given coal.

19. New York Rangers (17-15-4, Previous: 12) – A little goal support for Henrik Lundqvist, please?

Their gift is a request, I suppose. Can you re-gift that?

24. Nashville Predators (16-16-2, Previous: 26) – Anyone, just anyone, besides having to oppose the San Jose Sharks in the first round of the playoffs.

And to the Predators: incoherent nonsense!


There's also this 'New Year's Resolutions' thing up which is many shades of WTF. Can't wait.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

A baseball pause...

Because no matter the topic of one's blog, this deserves kudos:

GRIT.




There's a new Power Rankings and mailbag, too. Cue thrill.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

POWER RANKINGS! Yesss...

And they do not disappoint.

9. Philadelphia Flyers (16-12-3, Previous: 7) – Do you think the Flyers have forgotten about losing all eight games last season to the Penguins, who did so by a combined score of 42-21? Well, Philly is 3-0 so far against Pittsburgh, and by a combined score of 16-5 along with plenty of barbs being traded back and forth in print. (Emphasis mine)

Look. Being an editor is one of my hobbies (not kidding). But this is my hockey time, Ross, and I don't really feel like archiving for myself grammar rules. You are a professional sportswriter. You should know this stuff. Nonetheless...:

Do you think the Flyers have forgotten about losing all eight games last season to the Penguins, who did so by a combined score of 42-21?

This is a kind of 'misplaced modifier' situation, except the whole clause is modifying the wrong thing. What this sentence literally says is (the fact that it is nonsensical aside), "The Flyers lost all eight games to the Penguins, and the Penguins lost by a combined scored of 42-21." A clause (or adjective or adverb) used like this modifies the subject immediately before it. So, the 'who did so...' clause is modifying 'Penguins.' Clear?

This is actually a minor run-on to begin with, which probably accounts for the abysmal syntax. The best way to stop abusing the English language would probably be to say, "The Flyers lost all eight games against the Penguins last season by a combined score of 42-21. Do you think they've forgotten?" That way you change the syntax up and 'Flyers' is being modified even though Penguins comes later. The reason is because there are two prepositional phrases, both of which by default have to modify the subject, 'Flyers.' (Prepositional phrases generally shouln't modify each other, and I'm having trouble coming up with a case in which a direct object would be modified like this.)

Sorry. Grammar whore. But seriously... isn't there some sentinent higher-up that reads over this stuff before it's posted and McKeon makes money?

I'll start talking about hockey again.

12. New York Rangers (16-13-3, Previous: 15) – Losing five of six happens to every team, but the fact the last three setbacks have been against Atlanta, Washington and Phoenix is troubling. The Blueshirts would like to think they're superior to these teams, but perhaps this once again points to the across-the-board parity in the league.

No, it does not signify parity. It signifies the Rangers sucking. If you had watched any of those three games (though in your defense, it doesn't exactly relate to your job as Yahoo! Sports' head honco of NHLdom), you wouldn't have seen 'parity,' you would have seen a Rangers team that I could beat. Single-handedly. They played like... well, the 1998-2004 Rangers. At the Phoenix game, MSG was half-empty by the end of the second period. Hell, I think I was the only one there when the final buzzer sounded. This isn't a sign of last-place teams getting better. It's a sign that the Rangers need to show up to work.


13. Carolina Hurricanes (17-14-3, Previous: 13) – With 109 goals allowed in 34 games and only killing off three of every four opponent power plays, it's surprising the 'Canes are a first-place team, and with a fairly comfortable lead no less.

Well, Ross, I know backing up your opinions isn't really you thing, but as of right now, although Carolina has in fact given up 111 goals, they've also scored 110... their goal differential (-1) isn't that astronomically bad. And, with that said, here's how the other teams in their division look:

Florida: -5
Atlanta: -22
Tampa: -10
Washington: -14

So, uh, why is it surprising they're in first?


Anyway, there was less this time, but I liked it more. Because it was more obviously wrong.

I also hate how half of the things he writes aren't even complete sentences. Gah.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

This is so thrilling.

Ross time!

From his 12/15/07 mailbag:

Q: Not only are the Ottawa Senatorsthe best team in hockey, they have been the model franchise for the last five years. Detroit, one injury away from disaster, is the only team that can hold a candle to the Senators.

Justin Kirouac
Burlington, Ontario

A: You're not going to like it, but I think there are a number of teams in the west that can beat Ottawa in a series.

Wow. What an insightful answer. I have been totally swayed. The specifics-- I never would have picked those teams-- and the way he backs it up... impressive.

Q: An avid fan without a home team, I've heard all kinds of arguments that an NHL team won't work in Kansas City because minor league hockey always seemed to struggle here. I strongly disagree because I believe the products are two different things. Will you take a shot at explaining why minor league hockey is vastly different than the NHL product and they cannot be compared?

Dan
Kansas City, Mo.


A: Minor league hockey certainly is cheaper. It works some places, and not in others. The NHL didn't work very well when the Kansas City Scouts were there from 1974-76, but I wouldn't rule out expansion.

Q: How is selling minor league hockey differnt from marketing the NHL?

A: It's cheaper. It works in some places, but not others (and the NHL, as we know, works in all places). The NHL may expand again.

Q: Zach Parise is one of the youngest stars in the NHL, and the Devils wouldn't be nearly as good without him. Do you see him re-signing with the Devils at the end of this season? If not, do you think he would be good on a different team or just be a Bobby Holik or Petr Sykora, a player who could only be good in New Jersey's system?

Bobby Ellis

Manalapan, N.J.

A: Parise is signed through the 2010-2011 season, but I think he'd look good in any uniform.

Though, I'm sure McKeon would prefer him in no uniform.

Is there a new Power Rankings? I hope so.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

power leveling

The title is because I went to type in 'Power Rankings,' but after the word 'power' this autofill option came up.

Anyway, I frequent Yahoo!Sports. I like it; it's like home. But this McKeon guy... no. Just no.

December 11, 2007 Power Rankings:

9. Pittsburg Penguin: (15-12-2, Previous: 20) – Pens get higher marks for finding a way to win on the road three times when they could have lost all three. For all that skill, they displayed the right mental makeup to grind out victories on the road, something you have to do in the playoffs to go far.

So... you give the Penguins 'higher marks' because they played badly but managed to win anyway? The Penguins move up in the Rankings because... they played badly. And 'ground out wins,' something that kind of makes me equate wins with beef.

10. Montreal Canadiens: (14-11-4, Previous: 7) – One regulation win out of the last five games inspires a lengthy video session Sunday when the players were otherwise expecting a day off. Coach Guy Carbonneau had other ideas, however.

I enjoyed the grammatical wrongness, and how it doesn't make any sense.

11. Anaheim Ducks: (15-13-4, Previous: 19) – GM Brian Burke: "We respect the battle Scotty (Niedermayer) has fought over this decision. He's going to walk into the Hall of Fame someday, a first-ballot Hall of Famer, and his shoulders aren't going to touch either side of the doorway." Like we didn't know this was coming all along.

Oh, now I totally understand why the Ducks jumped 8 (!) spots to number 11. Thanks, Ross McKeon! Also: What's with the sarcsm? Was the GM not supposed to acknowledge Niedermayer's return in any way? Wth?

17. Chicago Blackhawks: (14-13-2, Previous: 6) – Key for young team is not to get discouraged despite playing well during four-game losing streak: Outshot opponents 31-25 on average, and penalty kill was 16-for-18.

This is just fun to read as if Yoda or some wise old Asian man was saying it.

18. New York Islanders: (14-12-2, Previous: 17) – Powerless play is 8-for-84 over last 19 games and hasn't enjoyed a game with multi-PPG since Oct. 27.

The humanity! Who could have predicted they'd fall so far so fast? Who, I implore you, who?

21. Toronto Maple Leafs: (13-12-6, Previous: 24) – Winners in five out of six – all by multi-goal amounts – and Vesa Toskala is finally getting help in front of him. It's not the goaltending. Team defense is the key for Leafs.

And, as we all know, team defense and goaltending are mutually exclusive.

28. Washington Capitals: (11-17-2, Previous: 30) – Winners in three of four, but most impressive is the fact they accomplished that feat and scored just one power-play goal in the process. That goes against the grain of today's special teams' NHL.

I wonder if he even has an editor, honestly. No one who knows anything about grammar would allow that last apostrophe.



That was fun.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Twofer

Ross McKeon has a weird name, and is also the hed honcho of hockey over at Yahoo! Over the past little while, he's had two interesting things to say:


"Before the current collective bargaining agreement with its salary cap was put in place, an anonymous league GM predicted the new NHL would be a paradise of parity. Boy, was he right. Take the results from the last week for example. Of the top 15 teams in the rankings last week, 11 produced losing records, including each of the first nine (7-15-2). The top 15 teams went 14-26-5. Conversely, the bottom 15 went 34-17 and only three sported losing records. "

No, this does not signify 'parity.' What it signifies is that within small sample sizes there will be statistical anomalies. This is why we play a full season: to see who is the best in that largest sample size possible of 82 games... and sometimes, there are still flukes. Also, considering the league can only go .500 against itself, if half the teams lose, then the other half have to win. It isn't weird that top teams losing corresponds with bottom teams winning. They have to lose to someone.

Never mind that this doesn't allow for the idea that his rankings might be wrong.

McKeon also commented in his weekly Power Rankings that he was 'reluctant to jump on the Islanders bandwagon' or something of the like, but that he was doing it now. I e-mailed him about the wrongness of this, and I can't find the comment now. I wonder.

Anyway, the reason that is so wrong is because the Islanders have a negative goal differential. They are being outscored, but still winning. This means that they will almost definitely come back down to earth very soon. At the time McKeon published the Rankings, the Islanders were playing .660, while according to their goals scored/allowed, they should only be playing to .450. There will be a huge, monstrous falloff.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

OMGWTFBBQSAUCE!!!!!111oneelevenathousandomg

The title is my impression of what Mike Emerick does when the puck changes possession.

Nothing particularly dumb last night, but they seemed to be trying to make up for the decent camerawork on Monday by showing 30-50% of the game at either a flat angle, or zoomed into someone's face while play was going on. I had thought that was a Crosby-only thing, but I guess not.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Second period

Nothing particularly annoying said in the second, but there were a few moments. I can't be the only one who noticed that John Forslund essentially talks like Yoda: "On a roll, the Flyers are." All. Game. Long.

There were flat angles, but not nearly as many as usual. Instead, they gave us the lovely large black bar covering the bottom of the screen.

Also, there was a point at which, on the PK, Girardi broke his stick and no one in the booth noticed until the play had ended and he went to the bench.

Boring, yes. But something.

This must be some kind of record.

...for stupid things said and done in a single period.

First period, 11.05.07. Rangers-Flyers, calling the game are Andy Brickley and John Forslund. Who said what is questionable, though I'm rather sure most of it was Forslund.


About Drury and Briere, "[For them] this game is about playing for the team you're representing."

Because you know, sometimes you get those players who play for the other team.

"The Flyers have always been a tough team."

Except, you know, for last year when they were horrible. I guess I know what he meant (I don't have the intiative to look up right now exactly how much the Flyers have won historically), but there must be a better way to phrase it.

This was my favorite one:

Brickley: The Rangers have now registered 20 shots in the first period.
Forslund: Yeah, they want to cut back on that.

Oh, pronouns. Sweet, sweet, oft-abused pronouns.

At one point, an advert for that new talkshow VS is pushing with Dennis Miller popped up. Forslund tries to help advertising, but instead says, "If you have a question, you can call in and give the answer." He then realizes his misstep and tries to fix it by blabbering nonsense about answering and calling in and who will answer, and then eventually just gives up.

And some moments of pure genious:

*)There was a point toward the end of the first where Brickley announced that we'd be having the first minor penalty. Without saying who it was on or what it was, Versus promptly cut to a commercial. Lovely.

*)Upon coming back from a commercial, Versus felt it necessary to interview Simon Gagne while he was on the bench in the middle of play. The look on his face and tone in his voice was so obviously, 'Leave me the hell alone.' It was wonderfully hilarious.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Maybe they're all Mets fans?

RE: my own personal satistfaction: I'd also like to cite my favorite moment from last year. Rangers-Isles. Don't remember the commentators, but this was the comment, verbatim, RE: Why Rangers fans boo Tom Poti (the actual reason: he was not very good):

"You know, it's strange, because he's a Yankees fan..."

The comment tailed off like he was going to somehow relate it to something, but he never did. Which is probably because it's not relatable to anything ever. Not even Sidney Crosby's clothing line.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

PS:

I do not care about Sidney Crosby's clothing line. I will not be upset if the shirt does not come in orange. Please cut back to the game, which is going on right now and I can't see it.


Seriously, the Crosby orgy is just ridiculous.

RE: Camerawork

Dear director/producer/cameramen who are obviously not watching the game:

I do not want a closeup of Sidney Crosby's face on the bench when, you know, there's actually play going on in my team's offensive zone. I'd like to see the game. You do this 7-15 times per game, so I thought I'd just let you know you should stop.

Sincerely,

Act

Force of habit?

Mike Emrick, I think, remarking on the Rangers' early-season woes:

"They have too good players to be playing like this, and with that payroll, too!"

...what payroll? Everyone has the same payroll. The same thing could be said about Long Island. Or Chicago. Or Florida.

Later, the analyst (Ahlers, I think) definitely asked Emrick what qualified as a shot. Our analyst had to seriously ask if hitting the post counted as a shot.